What kind of self-talk are you practicing?

When you're speaking in your second language and catch yourself making a mistake, or just totally blanking on the word that YOU KNOW YOU KNOW, what do you think to yourself?

When you realize you missed a deadline, or you forgot to do something you promised your significant other you'd do, when you've dropped the ball, what do you say to yourself?

"You should know this by now. Why don't you know this?!"

"How could you forget to do that?!"

"Ohhh, F****."

"You're such an idiot."

"You suck at this."

"You should just give up."

Any of these sound familiar?

I've said EVERY SINGLE ONE of them to myself in the past at some point or another. However, I very purposefully don't anymore. Why? Let me ask you this:

Would you say any of the same lines that you use on yourself to someone else when they're struggling?

We hold this motivational double standard: we are our own worst critic, and we are everyone else's cheerleader.

Mi amigo, it's time to be your own cheerleader, for your own sake and for that of everyone around you.

It might take a little practice to switch roles, but here's why it's more than worth it:

The behavior you model has a much stronger influence than the words that you say.
El comportamiento que se modela tiene una influencia mucho más fuerte que las palabras que se dice.

Yes, you can use positive or negative self-talk to help motivate yourself. You might even feel like you work better as your own worst critic! But here's the deal:

Other people are listening to the way you talk to yourself and watching the way you treat yourself, and they are taking their cues from your behavior.

You are giving other people permission to either uplift themselves or to abuse themselves with the behavior that you model toward yourself.

You may think the way you talk to yourself only affects you, but it is so much more powerful than that. You are so much more powerful than that.

One of the most powerful things you can do to influence others is to start to change your own thoughts, your own words, your own behavior toward yourself. It's okay if it doesn't come naturally at first - just keep practicing! You are always with you, after all. A coach, like me, can be a powerful ally to help you re-train your brain.

Helping my students re-train their brains around making mistakes and "forgetting" words in their second language is one of my favorite parts of my work as a language coach, because I know it leads to so much greater enjoyment and success on their language journey! 

If you're ready for a new kind of language learning experience, I invite you to join me in my Spring II Session starting March 31, 2021. Click for all the details.

Remember, you are allowed to be kind to yourself. It is safe to love yourself. This is your permission to drop your worst critic, your inner mean girl (or boy), and see what happens to those around you when you do.

Your life & language coach,

Are you ready to start practicing productive self-talk? Let’s start being our own cheerleaders together in my latest episode of #SpanishSaturday.

Click below to watch and listen.

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