What's Your Budget?

“What’s your budget?” The silver-haired man with the posh British accent, Vincent, asked me.

I smiled at him confidently. “No budget. I’d like to pay cash for whatever car I end up choosing.”

I saw surprise register faintly in his eyes. He held eye contact, unblinkingly, and I noticed how much his pupils had constricted in the middle of his pale blue eyes. They were like tiny, watery-black pinpricks looking back at me.

“You are aware that…” he paused, a hesitation small and polite, “…some of our cars can run as high as one hundred twenty thousand dollars?”

I smiled again. “Yes. I’m interested in trying quite a few.”

***

Now I will tell you that at the time of this conversation with Vince, my budget truly was “No budget.” As in, I didn’t have any money to spend. In fact, if you want to take into account my current credit card balances, business loan, and throw in the remaining car loan and mortgage while we’re at it, my budget might come out to a very nice negative half a million dollars.

One of my first goals for this year is to get completely out of personal debt. Then, I’d like to step up and get more aggressive and proactive about other loan balances, like my mortgage.

My second year of business saw double the profit of my first year, and that’s a trend I’d like to continue. Still, even after achieving 100% growth and completely paying off every debtor, that’s a long ways away from paying cash for a luxury SUV manufactured by hand in Britain.

And I’m OK with that.

You see, I wasn’t showing up at the Land Rover dealership as the person I am today. I was showing up at the Land Rover dealership as the Nikki in my vision, who is not only completely out of debt but also financially abundant, and outright owns her DREAM car with all the features, trim, and options that she wants.

I’m not there…YET.

There are many aspects of my ten-year vision and my 2020 vision that haven’t fully come to fruition yet. In fact, most are only now in the very beginning stages. And there’s nothing I love more than the very beginning stages.

This is true of how I feel about my language journey, as well.

In the vision, I’m fully fluent in X language - French, Arabic, Mandarin - and can navigate myself confidently around both the culture and conversations with friends in each language.

In reality, I’m a baby in French, and I haven’t even started my journey in either Arabic or Mandarin. (These are, by the way, only a sampling, as there’s pretty much no language that’s “off my list.”)

I LOVE being a beginner! There’s so much excitement at this stage. Taking your very first class is like getting a glimpse of what’s possible. Understanding your first story lesson taught entirely in a new language has your confidence soaring, imagining that the whole path to fluency will be that easy.

It’s not always easy. There are moments that test you, days when your confidence dips, and plenty of frustration when you start to believe the voice of your inner critic who tells you, “You’re never going to reach your goals.”

You have to stay committed to the goal. You have to keep taking action when you don’t feel like it. You have to choose which voice you listen to and find new beliefs. You have to be kind, have grace, and take care of yourself.

More than anything, you have to hold onto that vision that you saw when you started.

You, effortlessly fluent and chatting and laughing with friends, all in your second language.

Or me, walking into that dealership and paying cash for my top-of-the-line, all-options DREAM car and driving out of the lot with the bass bumping and the panoramic sunroof open.

It’s OK to be a beginner. It’s absolutely okay to not have reached your goals…yet. But don’t let where you are now limit the way that you see yourself in the future.

“I’m just a beginner and that’s all I’ll ever be.”

“I’ll always stumble over my words and forget how to say stuff.”

“I’ll never get out of debt.”

“I could never afford that.”

Remember, whatever vision or goal it is that you want to achieve, it is absolutely necessary to be a beginner at some point! The beginning is where it we all start.

Keep moving forward with the vision of who you want to become.

“I’m so excited I’m starting this journey. It’s going to be so much fun building my relationships and my fluency.”

“I’m going to look back fondly at all of these early mistakes from a place of confidence.”

“I know exactly what it’s going to feel like to walk in here, pay in cash, and drive off in my new car.”

“Remembering when I couldn’t afford to buy that makes me so much more grateful to have it now.”

***

We can only become what we can SEE. What we can envision.

So…who do you see?

What’s her budget? What does he sound like in his second language? What kind of family do you have? Where do you live?

Fill it out. Dream it up.

Then live it out.

Tu amiga,