What you resist, persists: stop resisting

Do you ever have a hard time accepting reality?

Uh, no, Nikki. I'm not delusional, thank you.

I hear you, but...are you sure you're not having a little trouble accepting things as they are?

Try this on for size: it's the end of the day and I haven't gotten everything done that I needed to. I haven't been lazy or slacking off, but I just didn't have time to get to everything on my list for the day. However, it doesn't feel acceptable to me to put things off for tomorrow. They're important and need to get done just as much as other things. So, I tell myself I'll just have to stay up late and finish them. I'll take a little break and eat dinner, then get back to work...

...hours later, I've stayed up late, but I haven't gotten much farther on the things that needed to get done. My brain and body are tired, but stress is keeping me awake. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed, and helpless. I look at my phone and see a news update about something terrible. I start worrying about that, too. When I finally get to bed, I feel like I've wasted time, added more problems to my plate, and would have been better off just calling it a day and getting a full night's rest to tackle everything fresh tomorrow.

What is happening here?

It's not that we are delusional and denying reality, it's that we are resistant to it. We are resistant to accepting things that we don't want to be true.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterMay 21, 2021Resistance, Reality, AcceptanceComment

What's bothering you? (Don't ignore it)

Pain has been a central theme for me this week. I woke up last Monday with terrible neck and back pain, for seemingly no reason - I simply woke up that way, without having had any major event during the night or the day before.

Is this what getting older feels like?!

Normally, this type of pain goes away on its own for me. This time, however, it was different. After seeming to get a little better, it then got worse. A lot worse. I couldn't sleep, couldn't lie down, couldn't move well, and couldn't do my normal work at the computer or on my phone.

Not gonna to lie: I became a major grumpus and rather self-focused as it was hard to concentrate on anything besides my own discomfort.

This is what pain does to us, isn't it? It limits our view and distracts us from being productive.

Sometimes it's physical pain, like mine this week. But often, it's mental or emotional - a belief we hold that hurts us, a heartbreak that hasn't healed, or a uncomfortable truth that we can't seem to work around. Either way, your pain is there to act as a guide: it's showing you what most needs healing.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterMay 7, 2021Pain, Pain points, Healing, Help, CureComment

The only guaranteed way to fail

Do you feel like you're failing? Like you're not doing "good enough"?

This week, I've been in a state of overwhelm. Overwhelm comes when you feel like you have to do everything right now - when everything on your to-do list seems equally important, and equally urgent. The inability to clearly prioritize what you need to take action on causes paralysis, and that's when we get stuck in the overwhelm.

One common escape that tempts me every time I'm in a state of overwhelm is to just check out. Feeling like I can't get everything done makes it easier to justify getting nothing done, instead. "If it wasn't going to all get done anyway..." There's also a certain mental relief to embracing failure: you magically go from having to get everything done to not having to do anything.

Of course, you and I both know the faultiness of that kind of logic. It does, however, contain a certain key: in order to get out of overwhelm, and in order to step away from embracing failure, we need a mental shift.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterApril 23, 2021Failure, Reframe, Mindset shift, Show up, Guaranteed, SuccessComment

How to know you're on the right path

Are you at your peak, or are you in a valley right now?

Language journeys, making progress toward a goal, even life itself - they're all filled with peaks and valleys. There are moments when we arrive at the top and we can see clearly the progress we've made, and the next mountaintop before us. Then there are times when we're trudging through the valley or in a steady uphill climb, and we can't see past all the trees around us; we just trust that the path we're on will lead us to where we want to go.

Going through a valley doesn't mean you're not on the right path: valleys are what connect us to the next mountaintop. There's no avoiding them if you want to keep moving forward.

So here's what you need to keep mind as you move along any journey:

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterApril 9, 2021Peaks, Valleys, Clarity, Guide, On the right pathComment

It's time to be your own cheerleader

What kind of self-talk are you practicing?

"You should know this by now. Why don't you know this?!"

"How could you forget to do that?!"

"Ohhh, F****."

"You're such an idiot."

"You suck at this."

"You should just give up."

Any of these sound familiar?

I've said EVERY SINGLE ONE of them to myself in the past at some point or another. However, I very purposefully don't anymore. Why? Let me ask you this:

Would you say any of the same lines that you use on yourself to someone else when they're struggling?

We hold this motivational double standard: we are our own worst critic, and we are everyone else's cheerleader.

Mi amigo, it's time to be your own cheerleader, for your own sake and for that of everyone around you.

It might take a little practice to switch roles, but here's why it's more than worth it:

Is it selfish to focus on yourself?

Do you feel selfish whenever you focus on yourself?

I don't mean focusing the camera on yourself for a selfie (aunque no veo nada malo en esto), but focusing on yourself: Who you are? What are your wants, your desires? How do you work best? What needs to you have that need to be met?

I imagine your answers to each of those might be different.

You might feel good about learning more about yourself in order to be more efficient in your job, because you can see how that directly impacts others like your boss, your co-workers, and especially your clients.

But sometimes we start to feel icky when it comes to looking at what we want, need, and desire, and making sure those are met.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterMarch 12, 2021Selfish, Essential, Foundation, Egoísta, Selfie, ServiceComment

Attract More of What You Love

Would you like to have more of what you love in your life?

More people - or one special person - to love, work that you love, playful activities that you love, food that you love, vacations that you love?

I don't think anyone's saying no to that.

Yet there are TWO GIANT MYTHS we embrace with our everyday mentality and actions that keep us from attracting more of what we love into our lives.

Let's dispel with those two myths right now.

What's Your Vision for 2021?

What's your vision for 2021?

I know, I know, we had so many jokes about 2020 Vision - don't worry, we're not reviving that dead horse. I mean, what vision is guiding you this year? What do you see in your heart of hearts? What is the big picture inspiring you as you move forward in 2021?

If you're answer is, "Uhh...what are you talking about, Nikki? I don't know how to answer that," keep reading.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterJanuary 29, 2021Life, 2021, Create, Vision, Reveal, Big PictureComment

5 Daily Journal Prompts for Living Your Best (Bilingual) Life

In Episode 83 of #SpanishSaturday, I'm giving you 5 daily journal prompts to help you a) discover more of what your best life - in any language - looks like, and reveal where you're already living it, and b) practice the Spanish subjunctive when you do this exercise in Spanish!

Check out the full episode below with a guided explanation of how to get the most out of this practice on your own.

Here are the 5 journal prompts, in English and Spanish:

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterJanuary 1, 2021Journal, Journal Prompts, Daily practiceComment

My Best Bilingual Life