What you resist, persists: stop resisting

Do you ever have a hard time accepting reality?

Uh, no, Nikki. I'm not delusional, thank you.

I hear you, but...are you sure you're not having a little trouble accepting things as they are?

Try this on for size: it's the end of the day and I haven't gotten everything done that I needed to. I haven't been lazy or slacking off, but I just didn't have time to get to everything on my list for the day. However, it doesn't feel acceptable to me to put things off for tomorrow. They're important and need to get done just as much as other things. So, I tell myself I'll just have to stay up late and finish them. I'll take a little break and eat dinner, then get back to work...

...hours later, I've stayed up late, but I haven't gotten much farther on the things that needed to get done. My brain and body are tired, but stress is keeping me awake. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed, and helpless. I look at my phone and see a news update about something terrible. I start worrying about that, too. When I finally get to bed, I feel like I've wasted time, added more problems to my plate, and would have been better off just calling it a day and getting a full night's rest to tackle everything fresh tomorrow.

What is happening here?

It's not that we are delusional and denying reality, it's that we are resistant to it. We are resistant to accepting things that we don't want to be true.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterMay 21, 2021Resistance, Reality, AcceptanceComment

When you're feeling drained

What does it mean to feel "drained"?

To drain something is to empty it, like water out of a bathtub. When we say we feel drained, we mean we're running low (or empty), usually on energy, but also at times on hope, on motivation, on ganas.

(Something really interesting to note about the action of draining: it's an emptying that happens by way of pouring out - meaning, you most often find yourself feeling drained when you've just been pouring out: your heart, your effort, your energy, onto other people and things.)

If you, like me, have been in need of a restoration lately, or you've felt the need for a little R&R (rest and relaxation), this is for you.

What's bothering you? (Don't ignore it)

Pain has been a central theme for me this week. I woke up last Monday with terrible neck and back pain, for seemingly no reason - I simply woke up that way, without having had any major event during the night or the day before.

Is this what getting older feels like?!

Normally, this type of pain goes away on its own for me. This time, however, it was different. After seeming to get a little better, it then got worse. A lot worse. I couldn't sleep, couldn't lie down, couldn't move well, and couldn't do my normal work at the computer or on my phone.

Not gonna to lie: I became a major grumpus and rather self-focused as it was hard to concentrate on anything besides my own discomfort.

This is what pain does to us, isn't it? It limits our view and distracts us from being productive.

Sometimes it's physical pain, like mine this week. But often, it's mental or emotional - a belief we hold that hurts us, a heartbreak that hasn't healed, or a uncomfortable truth that we can't seem to work around. Either way, your pain is there to act as a guide: it's showing you what most needs healing.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterMay 7, 2021Pain, Pain points, Healing, Help, CureComment

A little change can make a big difference

Do you like to think about alternate realities, what-if scenarios?

This week started out with a little dose of nostalgia for me. After having spent some time with two old friends who hadn't seen each other in nearly twenty years, I found myself on Monday morning reflecting on people and experiences that had been a part of my life, and no longer are.

I've always loved those stories that involve glimpses into alternate realites - books like Choose Your Own Adventure or Maybe In Another Life, or movies like Back to the Future or Sliding Doors all raise the question -

What if?!

What if she hadn't missed the train that day? What if you choose this or that?

We don't think the little things we do on a daily basis have a big impact, because we're thinking of them as just little things.

The only guaranteed way to fail

Do you feel like you're failing? Like you're not doing "good enough"?

This week, I've been in a state of overwhelm. Overwhelm comes when you feel like you have to do everything right now - when everything on your to-do list seems equally important, and equally urgent. The inability to clearly prioritize what you need to take action on causes paralysis, and that's when we get stuck in the overwhelm.

One common escape that tempts me every time I'm in a state of overwhelm is to just check out. Feeling like I can't get everything done makes it easier to justify getting nothing done, instead. "If it wasn't going to all get done anyway..." There's also a certain mental relief to embracing failure: you magically go from having to get everything done to not having to do anything.

Of course, you and I both know the faultiness of that kind of logic. It does, however, contain a certain key: in order to get out of overwhelm, and in order to step away from embracing failure, we need a mental shift.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterApril 23, 2021Failure, Reframe, Mindset shift, Show up, Guaranteed, SuccessComment

How can you tell if you're on track to hit your goals?

How can you tell if you're on track to hit your goals?

Whatever goals you're working on right now, whether you're a student in my Language Semester program and working toward your next level of fluency, or you've set goals for yourself in 2021 (maybe you participated in my story-writing, vision-making workshop in January!), or you've got some other longer- or shorter-term goals in mind, are you on track to hit them?

We often struggle to evaluate our own progress, either because we don't have a good way of measuring non-physical goals, or because we are incredibly biased by our own role as the primary participant!

So today I want to offer you a way to self-survey your progress toward any goal. (Psst...this is the same survey I'm using as I meet with individual language students to check in on their progress this semester! It really works!)

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, SpanishSaturday, MotivationNikki BannisterApril 16, 2021Goals, On track, Self-audit, Survey, Progress, GiftComment

How to know you're on the right path

Are you at your peak, or are you in a valley right now?

Language journeys, making progress toward a goal, even life itself - they're all filled with peaks and valleys. There are moments when we arrive at the top and we can see clearly the progress we've made, and the next mountaintop before us. Then there are times when we're trudging through the valley or in a steady uphill climb, and we can't see past all the trees around us; we just trust that the path we're on will lead us to where we want to go.

Going through a valley doesn't mean you're not on the right path: valleys are what connect us to the next mountaintop. There's no avoiding them if you want to keep moving forward.

So here's what you need to keep mind as you move along any journey:

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, Spanish, SpanishSaturdayNikki BannisterApril 9, 2021Peaks, Valleys, Clarity, Guide, On the right pathComment

Do you need a teacher, a coach, a guide, or a friend?

At the beginning of every single class, I introduce myself to my students by saying, Yo soy Nikki, tu maestra, tu coach, tu guía, y tu amiga. I'm Nikki, your teacher, your coach, your guide, and your friend.

I will present you with all the new material you need to learn so that you understand it. I will help you put it into practice, focusing on building your confidence and strengthening your mindset along the way. I've already reached the destination you want to get to, and I'll show you the smoothest, quickest route possible for you to get there yourself.

I will support you and would love to share the journey with you long after you no longer need me as a teacher, coach, or guide.

When you sign up for language classes or life coaching with me, my goal is to put myself out of a job. It's my great honor to stay in your life.

Make sure you're getting what you need.

Coaching, Your Best Bilingual Life, SpanishSaturday, MotivationNikki BannisterApril 2, 2021Teacher, Coach, Friend, GuideComment

It's time to be your own cheerleader

What kind of self-talk are you practicing?

"You should know this by now. Why don't you know this?!"

"How could you forget to do that?!"

"Ohhh, F****."

"You're such an idiot."

"You suck at this."

"You should just give up."

Any of these sound familiar?

I've said EVERY SINGLE ONE of them to myself in the past at some point or another. However, I very purposefully don't anymore. Why? Let me ask you this:

Would you say any of the same lines that you use on yourself to someone else when they're struggling?

We hold this motivational double standard: we are our own worst critic, and we are everyone else's cheerleader.

Mi amigo, it's time to be your own cheerleader, for your own sake and for that of everyone around you.

It might take a little practice to switch roles, but here's why it's more than worth it:

My Best Bilingual Life