It's time to be your own cheerleader

What kind of self-talk are you practicing?

"You should know this by now. Why don't you know this?!"

"How could you forget to do that?!"

"Ohhh, F****."

"You're such an idiot."

"You suck at this."

"You should just give up."

Any of these sound familiar?

I've said EVERY SINGLE ONE of them to myself in the past at some point or another. However, I very purposefully don't anymore. Why? Let me ask you this:

Would you say any of the same lines that you use on yourself to someone else when they're struggling?

We hold this motivational double standard: we are our own worst critic, and we are everyone else's cheerleader.

Mi amigo, it's time to be your own cheerleader, for your own sake and for that of everyone around you.

It might take a little practice to switch roles, but here's why it's more than worth it:

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Lessons from a year in quarantine

A year ago in California, we began a "2-3 week" quarantine and shutdown in response to the coronavirus pandemic. [Spoiler alert: we're still in it 12 months later.]

Let's take some time to reflect on this very odd anniversary.

In my latest video, I share exactly what was going on in my life: what new projects I was looking forward to, and how in retrospect I realize I was really struggling just to stay afloat, financially and emotionally.

Living through a year of the pandemic has added a lot more strain to each of those areas, but it's also allowed me to rearrange how I was handling my business and my pace of life, and to reprioritize my health, relationships, and growth in all areas.

Ultimately...there's been a lot of blessing in this year, for me.

Perhaps there's been some hidden blessings, large or small, for you too?

And yet...I know my experience is not everyone's experience.

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Is it selfish to focus on yourself?

Do you feel selfish whenever you focus on yourself?

I don't mean focusing the camera on yourself for a selfie (aunque no veo nada malo en esto), but focusing on yourself: Who you are? What are your wants, your desires? How do you work best? What needs to you have that need to be met?

I imagine your answers to each of those might be different.

You might feel good about learning more about yourself in order to be more efficient in your job, because you can see how that directly impacts others like your boss, your co-workers, and especially your clients.

But sometimes we start to feel icky when it comes to looking at what we want, need, and desire, and making sure those are met.

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Are you trying to outrun a bad diet?

I used to eat a banana after eating a bowl of ice cream.

Later in life, I got into bodybuilding for a period of time.

In the gym (where I was pretty much every day of the week, sometimes twice a day), I would hear the trainers use the expression, "you can't outrun a bad diet."

What they meant was, it doesn't matter how hard you work in the gym: if your diet isn't in order to start with, you cannot, will not get the results you want.

Essentially, it didn’t matter how many miles I ran, or how many bananas I ate, after eating the bowl of ice cream. It mattered that my main diet was ice cream!

If you don't have a strong, good, healthy foundation, it doesn't matter how hard you work. You will not get the results you want.

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Attract More of What You Love

Would you like to have more of what you love in your life?

More people - or one special person - to love, work that you love, playful activities that you love, food that you love, vacations that you love?

I don't think anyone's saying no to that.

Yet there are TWO GIANT MYTHS we embrace with our everyday mentality and actions that keep us from attracting more of what we love into our lives.

Let's dispel with those two myths right now.

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Do you just need to try harder?

Are you trying too hard?

We use this phrase in English, s/he is trying too hard, as a criticism. It's meant to imply that whatever it is you're trying to accomplish will only come if you relax and let it come more naturally. Don't force it.

And yet so many times when we're not getting the results that we want, we tell ourselves to just try harder.

Instead of telling yourself to just try harder, ask yourself:

How could I give myself more support? ¿Cómo puedo darme más apoyo?

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What's Your Vision for 2021?

What's your vision for 2021?

I know, I know, we had so many jokes about 2020 Vision - don't worry, we're not reviving that dead horse. I mean, what vision is guiding you this year? What do you see in your heart of hearts? What is the big picture inspiring you as you move forward in 2021?

If you're answer is, "Uhh...what are you talking about, Nikki? I don't know how to answer that," keep reading.

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You have permission to lower the bar

Have you heard the saying, "if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right"?

This time of year, many of us are abounding with new goals, dreams, and projects for the new year. We look forward to all the changes this year might bring, all that we might accomplish, and the growth that will occur.

And the overwhelm can almost be immediate.

Because the truth is, we aren't great multi-taskers. We - and I mean you, I mean me, I mean ALL of us humans - are much better at being single-taskers. It's just how our brains work!

So what do we do?

We often start trying to do it ALL, at the beginning. Then, we get frustrated as we realize we're not making the kind of progress we'd like to. We're pulled in too many directions, stretched too thin.

We start to drop things. We put them off. We decide we'll get to it later, when we have the time we want to truly dedicate to it.

This sounds pretty good. Pretty reasonable. After all, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right, isn't it?

Maybe.

There's a pernicious limiting belief hiding in this mindset: the idea that it's all-or-nothing.

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5 Daily Journal Prompts for Living Your Best (Bilingual) Life

In Episode 83 of #SpanishSaturday, I'm giving you 5 daily journal prompts to help you a) discover more of what your best life - in any language - looks like, and reveal where you're already living it, and b) practice the Spanish subjunctive when you do this exercise in Spanish!

Check out the full episode below with a guided explanation of how to get the most out of this practice on your own.

Here are the 5 journal prompts, in English and Spanish:

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